Grow your own X-rays

Weather permitting – in as much as it will go ahead but we might not see it through the clouds – Britain is due to be under a partial solar eclipse this week. Yes, mid-morning this Friday the Moon will pass in front of the Sun blocking it from view temporarily in the UK. Although we’re used to not seeing the Sun in the UK, it’s still quite the cosmic event.

Some will stare up & gawp despite the warnings. But there will be those taking the event more seriously. A scientist speaking on BBC Radio Berkshire this afternoon said he would be using the time to investigate its effects on the ionosphere, particularly as that part of the atmosphere blocks x-rays from reaching the earths surface.

Hang on – are we missing a trick here? Now, in Britain we have a much maligned & put-upon state funded health service. But many parts of the world aren’t blessed that way. So why are we turning away what is effectively free medicine?

Imagine it – with powerful x-rays hitting the earths surface, there’ll be no need for long queues in hospitals & clinics. If you think you’ve broken something, wonky teeth or a bit of a lump, you just go out into the familiar surroundings of the beach, the park or even your own backyard and get a friend or relative to have a bit of a gander at what’s going on in you.

We can use the same marvels of radiation to look into a locked safe or sealed serial box to see what treasures they cover.

And consider the boon to our border security services (that means you Kay Az). No need for expensive equipment to check out the suspicious. You simply ask your target to step outside where a couple of you can hold him up to the light. Who knows what you may uncover.

So, I’m calling on the scientific community to rid this planet of its repressive ionosphere. Consider the benefits to our health, to our wealth and our national security.

No? Scientists, you’ll be the death of us…