The times they are a’changing…
DPR Korea, North Korea if you would, have put themselves in their own time zone. Not for the sabre-rattling reasons that are often the reason for the pronouncements from this nation, but instead to put things back to the way they were prior to World War II. Putting a wrong right you might say.
But perhaps its time for us in the United Kingdom to step out on our own too, temporally speaking.
And therefore, I present to you BDT : British Decimal Time.
For hundreds of years we have been held hostage to a totally incomprehensible system of recording time, namely:
24 hour days.
60 minute hours.
60 second minutes.
Entirely illogical I’m sure you’d agree.
It’s almost entirely identical to the monetary system used in Great Britain prior to 1971:
20 shillings to the pound sterling.
12 pennies to the shilling.
And something to do with farthings and groats and that.
Things had to change. Shillings and pennies had to go, and so the pound was redivided into 100… pennies. Well new pennies anyhow. The result, Britain ended up as the economic powerhouse it is today.
And so I propose for our country to continue moving forward we adopt BDT.
Now I hear those of you still reading (for which I thank you) asking “Well how will this work?” and “What was a florin?” Well you can look up the second one, because I want to talk about time, OK? A florin was two shillings – happy now?
BRITISH DECIMAL TIME.
Under this new system a day will become twenty New Hours long, ten before lunchtime – ten after.
Each New Hour will consist of one hundred New Minutes.
Each New Minute will become 100 New Seconds long.
Simple. Brilliant. British.
So what will mean for you & I?
The adjustments to your life will hardly be noticeable.
If you work a nine to five now this will change to a 7.50 to 14.17 – simple enough.
News at Ten will become News at 18.33 (and 33 new seconds).on all networks.
Elevenses will become ninesixteenandsixtysevennewsecondses.Yummy.
And many more.
You’ll be able to track these changes on a handy fridge magnet I’ll be having the government issue. We’ll probably do an app as well.
Now you’ll be saying this will cost a bomb, converting all the old clocks and stuff. Well yes, but just think of all the work that can be picked up by Britain’s dormant clock-making industry? Who will get the Big Ben conversion contract. And do I know Big Ben is just the name of the bell and not the clock itself. Yes I was just trying to simplify things for you. Now please let me get on.
So I hope you’ll support my supposition to change time for all time. You’ll soon get use to it. you’re good at coping with change. You’ll soon forget when football matches kicked off at 3pm on Saturday, you probably already have. Not to mention how accurate railway timetables will become…
And so onto my plan to rename the days of the week from obscure Norse deities to the names of the seven members of the band Madness.