Vinyl Score

Music on vinyl is back! back! back!

The forty-five. The thirty-three and a third. The seventy-eight.

OK maybe not the 78, although I still have some of Grand-Dad Webster-Wise’s 78s hanging about the loft enjoying the quiet life.

But if this pre-CD media is new to you, well how do you get started? Well I hope this guide will be of use…

  1. Remove record from packaging before attempting to play.
  2. You will require the proper equipment on which to play your record of choice. A record player, hi-fi equipment with a turntable fitted, a radiogram. Rubbing the record against your ear will not produce the required result.
  3. Do not attempt to eat record (although see point #5 below for special circumstances).
  4. Wash separately. Do not use bleach. Do not tumble dry.
  5. Check your purchases carefully. If your record is only one inch in diameter, unravels and has a knobbly label what you’ve been sold is a licorice Catherine wheel.
  6. If you must recreate the tumbling coloured vinyl title sequence from early eighties editions of Top of the Pops, please wear proper safety equipment – goggles, helmet, ear deflectors.
  7. Be awfully careful when dealing with the stylus of your record player. I’ve seen the needle and the damage done.

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About simonwebsterwise

Pretend Canadian. Doter on women. Professional sports spectator. Askew view on the world.

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