Circumstances meant I could allow my beard to grow out for a few days last week.

Well I felt my face deserved a treat, especially after I put it through three shaves in 24 hours when I went to my friend’s show. I suspected there would be a lot of hugging afterward and wanted the full benefit. I was right. That’s entertainment!

Anyway, having a few days off work and nothing formal to attend allowed me to put the Gillette and gel aside from my normal ablution routine.

And what have i learned from this?

  • When in full flow it is difficult to pinpoint the colour of my facial hair. The sideburns are white. The main body of the beard a mix of red and blonde. The mustache dark brown to black. How would you describe that combination? Piebald? Palomino? Tortoiseshell?
  • I’ve established that the upper limit for time between shaves is 4 days max. Overnight on the 5th day the beard metamorphosed from rugged (see Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones) to scruffy (see Bill Owen as Compo Simmonite).

Image result for compo simmonite

Therefore, on day 5 it had to go. The beard had to go. Will it return? Maybe if we get one of those cold snaps again in the UK that we used to get every year but are now rare. Maybe next time I’m in Canada and up to my ankles.

But for now, to paraphrase Nina Simone : Got my jowls, got my chin, got my filtrum…


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About simonwebsterwise

Pretend Canadian. Doter on women. Professional sports spectator. Askew view on the world.

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