Top 10 Activities for the holidays

School’s out! And many people are asking me “Simon, what can we do with the kids?” To which my answer is “you should have thought of that before having them”. Duh!

Anyway, here are 10 things you could consider for crying out loud.

a) Learn pre-decimal prices, then quote them back to shop assistants, eg ‘That’ll be £1.73 please’ “Did you say thirty-five shillings and sevenpence?” ‘Huh?’

b) Have a day out in London travelling to all the outer terminal stations of the Underground, Morden, High Barnet & Upminster for example. But don’t there on the Tube.

c) Take your binoculars & note books into the garden and watch cats.

d) Find a park with nine sets of goal posts set out, eighteen in total. then kick a ball across the park from goal-to-goal, seeing how many shots it takes. I call it “Soccer-Golf”.

e) Despite actually having the time off, throw a sickie. Just think of the fun you could have wrapped up in your duvet, drinking chicken soup and watching ‘Bargain Hunt’ when you could be outside enjoying yourselves.

f) Help out your local postal system. Buy a postcard when you visit somewhere, but then post it from another town. Hours of bewildering fun for the recipient.

g) And along those lines, buy a thank you card from your local greeting card establishment. Make a note of their address… then post the card back to said shop “Thank you for helping me choose this card. You really have a fine selection & wonderful staff. thanks again”.

h) Get a bunch of friends together with yer digital cameras and mobile phones: take a composite selfie.

i) Plant a time capsule. Dig it up in seven days time to see what life was like last week.

j) Think up a new central character for an animated movie. But not a penguin. Everyone does penguins, Madagascar, Happy Feet, Surfs Up. I guess it’s because there so easy to animate. Lazy animators!

So that’s what I’d suggest. Or sit home watching TV or playing board games & that.

Thanks for watching.


About simonwebsterwise

Pretend Canadian. Doter on women. Professional sports spectator. Askew view on the world.

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  1. Top 10 Activities for the holidays | Word from the Webster-Wise - April 12, 2014

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